Can a goodbye ever be good? If good riddance is taken out of the equation what essentially remains is a euphemism for bye - goodbye. Anybody who has ever bid adieu to people they care for, people they relate to, know the kind of pain involved. What prompted me to write about all this are the 3 goodbyes I had to undergo in the last three months. First to a person I love, second to a person I admire and third to a person I just simply adore. For the second goodbye, the impact was a lot less coz the reconciliation period is way too small, but the other two had a lasting effect on me.
I vividly remember the days that led to my first goodbye. The turmoil one experiences within oneself is needed to be disguised by a brave smile just to ensure that the other does not break down. You are madly in pursuit of the last glance of that person. You arrange for fitting farewell but end up messing up things. You then desperately look for a high to culminate into the eventuality of saying bye. It’s almost like when it’s feeling good u say bye-thus goodbye. Why the hell the time does not stop. The next three months looked liked three ages.
The third one was even more disastrous. Ur farewell preparations are cut down due to the lack of time (coz this time it is you who’s leaving). You are therefore unable to pursue the last minute ritual as you would have wanted to. And when you are asked, “Anshul…. Tu ja raha hai?” you are rendered speechless by this simple question. You don’t have the courage to say “yes” nor have the power to defy the moment by saying “no”. Then you are made aware of the reality by wet eyes saying, “Tu ja ab……….” It pains, it pains a lot.
Introspective by nature as I am, I tried to search for those lasting effects. While the sufferings of goodbyes are well known, I looked for something positive in them. Yes, the good in goodbye. And believe me I have found them. In the first case the vacuum created by the goodbye was enough for me to realize the difficulty in living without that person. It helped bolster the relationship, stabilized the feelings and cleared many nagging doubts. It was then I understood the true meaning of the song-
“Tere bina zindagi se koi shikwa to nahi,
Tere bina bhi lekin zindagi zindagi nahi”
But i am happy she'll be back in a couple of days, really happy.
The positive thing about the third goodbye was that I came to know how close my association was, with that person, (association) which was apparently new with bounds essentially unknown. I was always sure that a very strong bond binds us, maybe I was preoccupied by my own thoughts that I almost missed what was there at the other end (though was always curious about it). Those wet eyes confirmed that we had become BEST of friends, but this elation was accompanied by a solemn dejection at the fact that our next meeting is indefinitely scheduled.
So here is a piece of advice: Realize things soon, otherwise you will have to learn it the harder way. Know the importance of each person in ur life instead of waiting for a goodbye to make you aware of it.
4 comments:
amazing..!
:)
‘Goodbye’ the word which struck me d jiffy I saw it, while goin thru all d topics..somehow my search 4 d blog of my interest finally paused here.
The way u ve put ‘goodbye’ across is commendable, but call it a pessimistic loom that the first thing that battered me wen I read ‘goodbye’ was something too tart, something that leads us to loose on 2 somethin tats loved….then y ‘good’???
I guess its called ‘GOODbye’ coz at times while progressing we start evolving as a stranger…just to c bliss on d most loved face…until one day we are questioned by ourself tat for how long can we mask our real self which is maybe not so lovable .That’s d time v decide to distant ourselves from it and take a step back 4m d ambiguity n a step towards our own individuality, towards who v r and out of d complexities that v created 4 ourself…..’GOODbye’ hence justified….coz justifications is d only support system tat v offer ourselves.
Very well written ..
The way you ended it was touching ..
someone once told me goodbyes are only good when you know you would not see each other and yet stay in touch....but now he himself is not there with me. I said loads of goodbyes myself never knowing if we'd ever meet again and yet hoping we'd chance upon a meeting sometime soon. Goodbyes are serious painful things which leave an empty space in your heart. I still sometimes feel that the people who left my life, I had so much to say to them and left that for some other day which somehow never came and I missed the opportunity. So now I make it a point to remeber everyone who touches my life in some way and try to make the most of it...sometimes people say i am saying mindless things but they r things i want to say and dnt want to lose this opportunity!!
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